Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics

 

What's the doofiest most helpless thing you can think of besides Minions? Yes, Kerbals. Ok, now what's the most badass, hardcore, kick you in the booboo thing you can think of besides Pantera? Yes, the Doomslayer. How about we throw 'em together and see what happens?

Oh yeah and come to our live show on Friday. Details all over our Facebook page.

I'll battle there for youuuuuu, if you cast for me tooooooo.

Warning: THEY'RE ALWAYS LISTENING.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a poorly cast heap of British monster. <3 <3 <3

PS Thank you as always to Meltdown Comics and Collectibles for supporting us and keeping this super nerdy little pirate ship afloat. Huzzah!

Direct download: V2E22_Kerbals_vs_Doomslayer.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:30am PDT

Sure hope you've seen Rogue One. Also, probably don't listen to this one yet if you care about spoilers.

Because this battle is ALL about Rogue One. Wait, you didn't see the General Grievous easter egg in R1? Shhhhhhh!!! It's the sassy mouth droid with a heart of quadanium steel going nuts to bolts against ol' squishy brain himself. It's basically an episode of BattleBots. BattlecastBots.

When sparks fly, robots die.

Warning: James will make you like stuff less.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a bad case of the kessel runs. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E21_K-290_vs_General_Grievous.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 12:22am PDT

Well it's been almost three years. so we feel like we've definitely earned it.

Also more importantly, it's Christmas so none of us could get together to record and episode so we all picked some very classic Battlecast moments and threw them up into this disasterpiece of audio we call "It's a very Battlecast Best Of..."

Warning: So much nostalgia your feels will explode into so many pieces that you'll never use the word "feels" again because it's played out and annoying.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the best of...you. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: BEST_OF_BCAST.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 3:14am PDT

HO HO HO, Merry Holidays!

We get all Christmasy up in this biz with the non-childhood-ruining version of The Grinch vs the later-in-his-career-but-not-at-this-point-childhood-ruining Kevin McAlister played by Macaulay Culkin. Of course we fight in the world of A Christmas Story and all Christmas stuff in general because CHRISTMAS IS DOPE.

Jinglecast, jinglecast, jinglecast battle!

Warning: Not a white or green Christmas. It's a red one.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a holly jolly whositwhatsit. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E19_The_Grinch_vs_Kevin_McAlister.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:21am PDT

We're here celebrating the release of two famously production-hell games. Also the new Spider-Man trailer. James rollin' deep at Prince Noctis from Final Fantasy XV and Dan gettin' webdiculous as Spidey-Dude. Last Guardian is the battleground because duh.

Battlenuts roasting on an open cast...

Warning: Tough life decisions all dayyyyy.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a radioactive bug of some sort. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E18_Prince_Noctis_vs_Spider-Man.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 9:42pm PDT

Andy, while digging through some old Battlecast cards, found this absolute GEM. In what we (everybody except Dan) believe to be THE BEST piece of audio we've ever recorded, Dan defends his position and the honor of what we all know to be the fakest lady in history. Please listen to this. You will not regret it. 
 
Backstory: If you haven't listened to Season 9 Episode CF (between 8 and 9), Dan was tricked into straight up LOVING (not exaggerating) a girl he met online. Turns out this girl was using fake pictures from an actually pretty girl all along and Dan bit down hard on this fake bit of cheese. To add insult to injury, the girl she was using is an absolute dime who flies on private jets, has a super hot boyfriend, and the fact that Dan thought he had a chance was hilarious. What makes it even better, is that the real girl is the one you see in the episode art. A fat, cornfed, buttered 'sgetti eating lard who's married and just dying for the attention of someone not much better than herself, Dan. 
 
Prepare your ear holes because they're about to get the best gift we could give you this holiday season, this track. Enjoy. 
Direct download: Early_XMAS_Bonus.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:30pm PDT

Dave Chappelle, oh how we miss you. Your gig as host of SNL recently was not enough, so we brought you back to battle on this week's episode. Everyone's talking about the new Pokemon games too. Dirk's playin' 'em, and today he's gonna rock out with is Pokeball out as Rockruff. Furthermore, Planet Earth II is the best thing ever. Good lord you have so much to watch.

Closing time, one last call for Battlecast...

Warning: One of us used to be HARD. Or real sad.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a majestic baby lizard <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E17_Dave_Chappelle_vs_Rockruff.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:54am PDT

 

Westworld is really awesome and we're all super into it. Let's fight there this week why not? Andy saw The Mummy playing at a bar this week so he's gonna be Imhotep. Dirk really digs the Dishonored games so he's gonna be the main character, Corvo Attano. It's a dope battle, but something's missing. Hmmm.

Some call it corn, we call it Battlecast.

Warning: Some Dr. Strange and Westworld spilers. Tasteful ones.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Nebraska Cornhusker <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E16_Corvo_Attano_vs_Imhotep.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:30am PDT

A kickass little indie game came out recently. It's called Owlboy. Go check it out. Dirk and Dan have been playing the butt off of it, and Dirk even picked the main character, Otus as his hero this week.

Andy's been playing a lot of pin the tail on the donkey by himself in his underwear at home alone, so he picked George W Bush.

Let's do it in Arlen, TX this week, I'll tell ya hwhat.

When Battlecast shakes your hand, it stays shook.

Warning: Almost a complete absence of ribaldry.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a 325 Dodge hemi <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E15_W_vs_Owlboy.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 3:35am PDT

We're sorry. The beginning of this episode assumed that people were better.

We finished up our Extra Life stream with another episode of Battlecast: this one. It's James playing one of the strangest wrestlers (yes, we know that's saying a lot) we've ever heard of, Broken Matt Hardy vs. one of the most vanilla characters in anything ever, the main guy from J.A.G.- LTCR Harm.

Battlecast has the best words.

Warning: WE SWEAR WE DIDN'T MEAN TO PREDICT IT

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for voting or something <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E14_Broken_Matt_Hardy_vs_Lt_Cdr_Harmon_Rabb.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:32am PDT