Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics

It's finally here. Tempers ran hot, arguments were had, and James even broke a beer bottle over Andy's head. This may even be the last time we ever do a Battle Royale based on how much we all wanted to (for reals) kill each other afterward.

Basically what we're trying to say is that we've suffered for our art. In the same way that a 7-year-old suffers for that gold star emblazoned painting of a stick figure parakeet that mom and dad barely allowed on the fridge BUT STILL.

It's Dan vs. Andy vs. James in a tournament style showdown that will answer the two year long question: who got the best dice rolls?

Show me that Battlecast agaiiiin (Ooooooo, show me that Battlecast).

Warning: We'll never make you wait so long for or listen to another almost 3 hour episode again. Promise.


Dan has 4 characters, Andy has 3 characters, and James has 5 characters.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and, seriously, thanks for being a beloved supporter and good homie of the show. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: VOLUME_1_FINALE_-_SUPER_MEGA_ULTRA_BATTLE_ROYALE.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:59pm PDT

One more little baby special episode before we bring you the super sized... no King Sized... no... KING SOOPER SIZED Super Mega Hyper Battle Royale. Here's us fartin' around at SDCC 2016. We talk to people in costume and make them fight other people in costume. It's also on World Star Hip Hop if you want to watch the video.

Battlepix evolves into Ninecast. Duhhhh.

Warning: Some good burns mid episode.


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Direct download: S09ESDCC_Battlecast_at_SD_Comic_Con.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:18am PDT

This is not a normal episode of Battlecast. If you've been listening, then you know that this is us farting around at Dan's Gravyyard show last week. It's extra short, but hopefully it'll hold you over until next week when we have our HYPER SUPER MEGA BATTLE ROYALE followed by two weeks from now when we launch the start of VOLUME 2 of Battlecast. It's gonna be epic. We got some surprises in store for yas.

Gravycast enters the Battleyard.

Warning: You have to hear Dan's band.


<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an out of tune Wazoogle. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09EHH_Gravycast_Happy_Hour.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:39pm PDT

Remember like a million years ago when we did our D&D style co-op campaign version of Battlecast and you guys loooooooved it? Us neither. The love part. SO WE DID IT AGAIN. This time with super overpowered/holy grail characters because it's fun. Straight up Dungeons and Dragons style custom campaign written and performed by Dirk the Magnificent.

Our cast for this week is The Big Blue Dong of Justice AKA Dr. Manhattan (Andy), the bumbling yet lovable Superdoofus, Superman (James), and that dude who spends season of his show stuck on a single syllable, Goku (Dan).

IT'S-A-MEEE- BATTLECASTIO

Warning: Longest. Episode. Ever.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the one person that left the theater after Watchmen not feeling inadequate. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09ESQ2_BATTLECAST_SIDE_QUEST_2.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:19pm PDT

It's the stunning conclusion to Season 9 of Battlecast. Move over, Game of Thrones! Move over, Silicon Valley! Move over, Murder She Wrote! There's a new Sheriff in town!

James and Andy are set up with some pretty OP stacked teams as they go into this one- Andy has Mary Poppins, The Tick, Robocop, Lego Batman. James has Donkey Kong, Ice Cube, A Warlock from Destiny, and Ratchet + Clank. Oh you poor sod, Dan. He only has Joe Camel. Wait didn't this happen last season too? Good lord.

As is customary in the Battle Royale, we revisit a buncha battlegrounds we've seen throughout the season.

Try to Cast your line into the deeper pools- that's where the Battles bite..

Warning: Buckle up.

FINAL RECORD BEFORE THE FINAL
Dan 1-5, Andy 4-2, James 4-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Tier 3 Vehicle Nocturnal Emission Standard. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E10_BATTLE_ROYALE.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:42pm PDT

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, THE CAST BATTLES YOU!!! No but really it does so watch out for that if you ever plan on traveling there. It's a battle between East Coast vs West Coast- in a rivalry almost exactly like that of Biggie vs. Tupac, it's Mary Poppins (Andy) vs. Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier (Dan). And if you haven't quite figured this part out yet, it all takes place back in the USSR.

Battlecastliness is next to Godliness.

Warning: Andy sings this episode.


Dan 1-4, Andy 3-2, James 4-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an apprehensive allied power. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E09_Mary_Poppins_vs_The_Winter_Soldier.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:52pm PDT

Welcome to This American Battlecast.

Today we take a break from battling to tell you a tale of heartbreak and hilarity.

In what has been hailed as the greatest episode of Battlecast ever, the boys go through an emotional journey and would like to bring you along for the ride.

Take meee out to the Baaaaattlecast.

Warning: You may cry.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the real deal.. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09ECF_This_American_Battlecast1.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:58pm PDT

Special guest alert! It's the girl that is apprehensively letting Andy call her girlfriend! She's really sweet and does pretty good Young Frankenstein impressions. Hey! That's where we're battling this week! It's furry and furious donkey named monkey, Donkey Kong (James) vs. the guy that makes being a man in black look good, Agent J (Dan).

Disclaimer: Don't insert the Battlecast too far into your ear canal or you may cause permanent injury.

Warning: The Legend of Cora. The dog.


Dan 1-3, Andy 3-2, James 3-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a hotdog smelling contest. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E08_Donkey_Kong_vs_Agent_J.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:00am PDT

It's a Battlecast milestone this week with the LAST EVER DIRKEO. Yes that's right. The Council of Elders communed and decided Dirk shall be a combatant next season so this is the last opportunity for any of the boys to choose him. Andy does. It's the pathetic and lovable Joe Dirk (Dirt) goin' head to head with the copiously armed furball/nutbolt combo team Ratchet and Clank (James). All o' this happens on Mars.

Amber Alert: Late-twenties, moderately overweight Battlecast in a silver 2010 Prius heading northbound on your ear-holes.

Warning: No one's ever happy with the odds.


Dan 1-3, Andy 3-1, James 2-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a gold plated 5 pin connector. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E07_Joe_Dirt_vs_Ratchet_and_Clank.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 8:44pm PDT

**FIRST OFF DISCLAIMER**

Still working out kinks in the new studio and despite recording on two separate devices, the audio was still all jacked because we're dumb. So the quality of this episode is pretty shoddy. Well all of them are but this one particularly.

Annnnnyway- this week Andy and Dan both wuss out and call in pinch-battlers, but neither of them know who is battling for them until the end in a new-style-no-bias-battle. It's Gumby (Dirk) vs. Lego Batman (Cryin' Bitch aka Ryan Kidd) fighting in the Miiverse.

Fresh and full of Battlecast.

Warning: Foxes and racecars.


Dan 1-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a carbon fiber drink coaster. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E06_Gumby_vs_Lego_Batman.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 11:58pm PDT