It's Christmas, everybody! We celebrate by using an all X-Mas themed wheel which happened to land on A Charlie Brown Christmas for this week's battleground. It's f-Zero All-Star Captain Falcon (James) vs. the super-charged stooge Deadpool (Andy).

Warning: Let's all remember the true meaning of Christmas... Santa's Birthday!

Records after last episode:

One of the most played games in south-east Asia meets one of the least known movies in north-west Everywhere. It's Harry Waters (Andy [way to pick someone everyone loves and adores!!!!]) vs The Queen of Blades, Sarah Kerrigan (Dan). It all takes place at the Battle of New York from the Avengers.

Warning: Dan makes up for being late by telling the best stories ever heard.

Records after last episode:

Haaaaaaaaaaappy Late as F Thanksgiving!!! Yes, we know, that was like a week ago, but see if we care!... On this week's episode, Andy takes immediate advantage of the new Dirkeo rule fighting as Agent Coulson from the Marvel/Avengers universe. In honor of the release of Super Smash Bros for Wii U, James picked Little Mac.

Oh yeah!! And it alllll takes place at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! So timely it hurts!

You may remember... in eons past... when a man named Beau aka DJ Man-Cat graced our show with his presence. Today he makes his triumphant return to the show as guest judicator. Our battleground is the Hunger Games arena (so timely, huh?).

Also! A new rule we decided upon allows Dirk to step in as a "Dirkeo" (Dirk + Cameo) for each of us once per season. Dan takes his Dirkeo to fight against Andy. It's Nikola Tesla (Dirk) vs. Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski in a battle of brains on bongs!

In honor of Dan getting the biggest compliment of his life from last week's guest (who compared him to Chris Pratt...), he chose Star-Lord as his weekly warrior. James picked some weird little girl from some League of Legends crap because he's James. JK LoL is pretty solid. But the worst pick of all was Andy's choice for us to fight in the town where Gilmore Girls took place. Stars Hollow. I feel my testicles shriveling just typing it.

***BONUS ROUND***

Here's some bonus content for you guys. Because we love you. And because Andy was dyyyyying to ask Dan to retell a story he told off the air.

Enjoy!

Season 4 of Battlecast is here! OMG OMG OMG!!! On top of that, we have one of our favorite guests ever in studio fighting on James's behalf. Andy Schatz, the owner of Pocketwatch Games (known for the award winning, much adored and highly acclaimed indy game, Monaco) We have martial artist and action movie star, Steven Seagal (Andy) vs. famed nature documentarian, David Attenborough (Andy Schatz). Oh yeah, and we're battling inside the works of Dr. Suess! Mostly the Butter Battle Book.

Mike Haggar (James) vs. Randy Marsh (Dirk) vs. Wario (Dan) inside Salvador Dali's paintings.

In honor of the great month of Movember, we bring you this lovely little mustachesterpiece of an episode. Three mustachioed gents throw down in one of the most prolific mustached-man's art. Yes, there are melty clocks and tigers jumping out of pomegranates. Yes, there are ants crawling out of vaginas. And yes, we like to think it was all for a good cause.

Warning: It gets real gross real fast.

Enjoy.

Moe (James) vs. Rainier Wolfcastle (Dave) vs. Professor Frink (Andy) vs. Krusty the Klown (Dan) at the Nuclear Power Plant.

I wish we could have had the foresight to make this a Simpsons episode AAAAND a Halloween themed episode, but we're much too stupid for that. Instead we have a clown, a genius, a bartender, and a german actor going head-to-head in a nuclear power plant. Pretty enticing, eh? Yes. The answer is yes.

Warning: We're sorry.

Enjoy.

4 (Andy) vs. 3 (Dan) vs. 2 (James)
 

You know the rules, people. Each of our winning characters from throughout Season 3 are back as our respective champions. Andy's team of four includes Gob BLuth, Mr. Burns, Viewtiful Joe, and half the cast of Top Gear. Dan's three-man squad is Piccolo, Darth Vader, and Blossom and Buttercup of the Powerpuff Girls. Lastly, James pitiful twosome is Zach Morris and Nathan Drake. To the winner goes the spoils! Meaning the Katana Trophy and a spoonful of pride.


Warning: James paints a lovely picture of heaven.


Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-2, Dan 3-3.


Enjoy.

We welcome back our favorite guest (and much needed relief from James's bullshit) Jimmy Callaway! He tries on his ajudicating hat for this episode which takes place in Ghostbusters HQ. It's Bruce Lee's trainer Ip Man (Andy) vs. Piccolo (Dan) in a martial arts showdown with ghosts and ghouls and possibly a Spirit Bomb that takes 6 weeks to occur. Also get on Netflix and watch Ip Man if you haven't. Super good.

We go one more round with the mysterious stranger, "Deepthroat", asking all the hardest hitting questions you'd expect from the seasoned journalists here at Battlecast.

Nathan Drake (Jay Huerto) vs. Dick Butt (Andy) at Jumanji.

WELCOME TO SEASON 3 OF BATTLECAST

We roll things out this season with a special guest... the incredibly talented and dear, dear, dear friend of the show's, Jay Huerto. More importantly, yes, we are definitely filing a class-action lawsuit against Andy for the character he chose. This week, we stroll through uncharted territory with Nathan Drake and Dick Butt in the Jumanji Mansion. P.S. sorry our audio gets fucked a few times - new mixer growing-pains.

Warning: Dick butt.

Records reset to zero after last episode.

Enjoy.

Roberto (James) vs. Slurms McKenzie (Dan) vs. Hedonism Bot (Andy) vs. Bender (Dirk) at the Slurm Factory on Planet Wormulon.

Season 2 of Battlecast is over... Comic-Con is over... equally miserable facts of life... BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! The second penta-annual Futurama Space-TWO-cuLRRR is here with all four of us sclum-bags battling for our right to remind everyone about having won for a few weeks. Dust off your brain-slug and fasten your Finglongers, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Warning: Is Dave "the one"?

Enjoy.

We're not going to lie and say that this is a good episode. We will, however, lie and say that it's a decent episode.

Dan, Andy, and Dave tool around Comic Con forcing cosplayers to fight each other. Also a guy playing drums on a streetlight gave Dan a few shots of the Fireball in his pants. Also we saw Donal Logue. Also Andy can't speak English.

Thanks to Jeff Rector, San Diego's Zombee, and The Pod Brother for chatting with us.

Warning: We know this episode is meandering and unlistenable... but you never know when a certain Futurama Space-TWO-cuLRRR may come out. This week. Ok, you do know.

4 (Andy) vs. 3 (Dan) vs. 2 (James)

You know the rules, people. Each of our winning characters from throughout Season 2 are back as our respective champions. Who shall reign victorious and inherit that mostly shitty Katana that Andy bought last season as a trophy for himself? Probably not James.

Warning: Space AIDS. You know, Space Age AIDS.

Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-2, Dan 3-3.

Enjoy.

Pam (Andy) vs. Ganondorf (Dan) in Hell.

As if listening to us jackasses wasn't hell enough already, this week's battle takes place in aaaactual Hell as represented by classic Italian poet, Dante. Archer's H.R. Lady and all around debaucherous badass, Pam Poovey, drags Hyrule's Lord of the Dark Arts, Ganondorf, through the nine rings of hell in this week's episode.

Warning: Open couch-surfing offer at Andy's house. Inquire within.

Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-1, Dan 2-3.

Enjoy.

Derek Jeter (Woods) vs. Commander Shepard (James) in Las Vegas.

You know him from Cantore + Woods and as morning DJ of San Diego's FM 94/9, Steven Woods joins the Battlecast boys for an extra specialiciuos episode. One of greatest baseballers of all time, Derek Jeter, faces the fury that is Mass Effect's proven protagonist, Commander Shepard. 

Warning: Cocaine and Bitches and free iPads

Record after last episode... James 1-4, Andy 4-0, Dan 2-3.

Enjoy.

Beetlejuice (Dan) vs. Steve-O (James) at World Cup 2014.

Two of the gnarliest and often yuckiest men in show-business, Jack-Ass's Steve-O and Beetlejuice, "match up" in Brazil at World Cup Stadium (you know, the main one or something). Be prepared for things going in butts, butts going on things, and other configurations of butts and things. 

Warning: Gooooooooooooool!

Record after last episode... James 1-3, Andy 4-0, Dan 1-3.

Enjoy.

Gambit (Dan) vs. Scott Pilgrim (Andy) at Pride Parade.

In honor of James's latent homophobia, we find ourselves facing off at the Gay Pride Parade on this week's installment of Battlecast. Gambit of the X-Men calls Scott Pilgrim's hand in a game of good old American Russian Roulette. Will it roll Snake Eyes? Jackpot.

Warning: Anachronistic Pepsi references.

Record after last episode... James 1-3, Andy 3-0, Dan 1-2.

Enjoy.

Ender (Andy) vs. Akuma (James) at the house from Home Alone.

This week we bring you a very special Father's Day episode featuring heart-warming stories about dads fighting children and girls. Also we battle. Defender(?) of Earth, Ender Wiggin weighs up against demonic martial artist Akuma from Street Fighter.

Warning: Dr. Mario Spaghetti.

Record after last episode... James 1-2, Andy 2-0, Dan 1-2.

Enjoy.

Tommy D (Jimmy Callaway) vs. Hunter S. Thompson (Dan) in Dunder Mifflin from The Office.

James got too Hollywood for us and left so we had fellow podcaster, comedian and comic-book store employee extroadinaire, Jimmy Callaway, swoop his spot. Tommy D as played by Joe Pesci played by Jimmy Callaway butts heads with Hunter S. Thompson as played by Johnny Depp played by Dan in the Dunder Mifflin building.

Warning: Sugar Ray references.

Record after last episode... James 0-2, Andy 2-0, Dan 1-1.

Enjoy.

Qui-Gon Jinn (Jacob Sirof) vs. Inspector Clouseau (James) on The Island from Lost

SPECIAL GUEST ALERT!!! The very funny and incredibly talented Jacob Sirof unleashes the Force as his favorite Star Wars character, Qui-Gon Jinn, against Andy's bumbling idiot of a protagonist... The Pink Panther himself- Inspector Clouseau. 

Warning: Eye-fucking?

Record after last episode... James 0-2, Andy 1-0, Dan 1-0.

Enjoy.

The Animaniacs (Andy) vs. Cool Runnings (James) in Grand Theft Auto's Vice City

Jamaican Bobsledders? Yes, fucking Jamaican bobsledders. Oh yeah and John Candy. They compete against The Warner siblings themselves: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.

Warning: Uncut and uncensored. But mostly just uncut.

Record after last episode... James 0-1, Andy 0-0, Dan 1-0.

Enjoy.

R.L. Stine (James) vs. Yoshi (Dan) on The Price is Right

Welcome to Season 2 of Battlecast! We spin things off this season with a trip to Bob Barker's domain of pain: The Price is Right.

Thanks x 1,000,000 to S.S.S.C.G.P. (Super Special Skype Cameo Guest People) Will Cole and Aaron Fujimoto.

Warning: Bestiality.

Record is wiped clean after last season... James 0-0, Andy 0-0, Dan 0-0.

Enjoy.

Dr. Zoidberg (James) vs. Professor Farnsworth (Dan) vs. Zapp Brannigan (Andy) vs. Lrrr (Dirk) at the Ruins of Old New York.

Welcome to our first annual Battlecast Futurama SpacetacuLRRR. All four of your favorite (erhm) Battlecasters put on their Light-Speed Briefs and fight to the death in the sub-urban ruins of Old New York.

Warning: Alex Hoffman as guest Judicator

Enjoy.

Senator Palpatine (James) vs. Han Solo (Dan) on Hoth.

It's Battlecast's first live episode! We recorded in front of a live studio audience at Southern California Comics during their hugely sucessful and much adored Free Comic Book Day event.

As homage to Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you), we had Senator Palpatine face off against Han Solo on the ice planet of Hoth.

Warning: It was an all ages event aka no swearing. Mostly.

Enjoy.

We say goodbye to Season 1 of Battlecast. And Dan's dismal losing streak.

It's a free-for-all between all of the winning characters of the season.

James Pugh as Jack Bauer, Alex Mack, Jigsaw, Tommy Oliver, and Scorpion.

Andy Boyd as James Bond, Voldemort, and Calvin.

And Dan Brozo as some other thing.

Warning: We forgot how to Battlecast.

Regular Season final record is James 5-1, Andy 3-3, Dan 1-5

Enjoy.

Zaphod Beeblebrox (Andy) vs. Alex Mack (James) at Pride Rock.

It's a circle of death at Pride Rock where Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox takes on Super-Powered Pre-teen, Alex Mack.

Warning: Special Guests Beau Doiron, Andrew DeGregorio, Christine

Record after last episode is James 4-1, Andy 3-2, Dan 1-5.

Enjoy.

Yesterday.....all our episodes seemed so far away. Now it seems the show is here to stay. Oh we believe, in yesterday....

Thrall (James) vs Kratos (Dan) at Legoland California

Former (spoiler) Warchief of the Horde, Thrall, clashes with the present (spoiler) god of War.. Kratos.

Warning: Is ashy racist?

Witness the birth of Battlecast, and please... Enjoy.

Inspector Gadget (Dan) vs. James Bond (Andy) in Wrestlemania.

Dun dun dun dundun dun - Inspector Gadget infiltrates wrestlemania to smack down against everyone's favorite secret agent man, 007.

Warning: Dan is a pederast.

Record after last episode is James 4-1, Andy 2-2, Dan 1-4.

Enjoy.

Andy Roddick (Dan) vs. Jigsaw (James) in Kitchen Stadium.

Former World Champion tennis player, Andy Roddick is matched up against genius/serial killer of the Saw franchise, Jigsaw.

Warning: Swordfish Lasagna

Record after last episode is James 3-1, Andy 2-2, Dan 1-3.

Enjoy.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Three guys decided to do a podcast called Battlecast. This is the raw, unpolished, and arguably complete dog-shit "Season Zero".

Alexander Borgia (James) vs. Barack Obama (Andy) at Hogwarts.

The most fucked up pope of all time brawls with the leader of the free world.

Warning: NSA Wiretaps.

Witness the birth of Battlecast, and please... Enjoy.

Red (Dirk) vs. Voldemort (Andy) in Silent Hill.

The protagonist of Pokemon Red/Blue faces off against he who shall definitely not be named. Voldemort.

Warning: Flying Winged Fuckers

Record after last episode is James 3-0, Andy 1-2, Dan 1-3. 

Enjoy.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Three guys decided to do a podcast called Battlecast. This is the raw, unpolished, and arguably complete dog-shit "Season Zero".

Solid Snake (James) vs. The Doctor (Andy) at Pokemon Stadium of Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Stealthy super-solider, Solid Snake, pounces on The Doctor of Doctor Who. 

Who will be victorious? Who will reign supreme? Who emerges from the battlefield as champion? And who thinks this joke just got annoying? Everyone, that's who.

Warning: That's not a fucking swimming pool.

Witness the birth of Battlecast, and please... Enjoy.

Lord Business (Andy) vs. Spike Spiegel (Dan) at Sesame Street.

The antagonist of The Lego Movie, Lord Business, takes on intergalactic bounty hunter, Spike Spiegel.

Warning: Big Bird caps some asses.

Record after the last episode is Dan 0-3, James 3-0, Andy 1-1

Enjoy.

Zero (Dan) vs. Tommy Oliver (James) at Evergreen Terrace of The Simpsons.

The legendary Maverick Hunter Zero takes on the most badass Power Ranger in existence, Tommy Oliver.

Warning: Epic as Fuck.

Record after the last episode is Dan 0-2, James 2-0, Andy 1-1

Enjoy.

Danaerys Targaryen (Andy) vs. Scorpion (James) at Goldeneye's Facility.

Beauty (plus dragons) takes on the beastly hellspawn ninja that is Scorpion.

Record after the last episode is Dan 0-2, James 1-0, Andy 1-0

Enjoy.

Bill Nye (Dan) vs. Calvin (Andy) at DayZ's Chernarus.

Science vs. Imagination in this week's brawl. Takes place in zombified Russian wasteland, Chernarus.

Episode opens with us yelling at each other about Tim Burton.

Record after episode 1 is Dan-0, James-1, Andy-0

Enjoy.

Space Ghost (Dan) vs. Jack Bauer (James) at Minecraft (Battlecast Mod).

Some rules:

We rotate between representing characters and judging the fights.

The battleground is randomly assigned and often dictates the "rule set" we'll follow.

A coin flip decides who goes first.

Note: We recorded a practice season before this one hence the reference to previous episodes.

Enjoy.