Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics

We're here celebrating the release of two famously production-hell games. Also the new Spider-Man trailer. James rollin' deep at Prince Noctis from Final Fantasy XV and Dan gettin' webdiculous as Spidey-Dude. Last Guardian is the battleground because duh.

Battlenuts roasting on an open cast...

Warning: Tough life decisions all dayyyyy.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a radioactive bug of some sort. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E18_Prince_Noctis_vs_Spider-Man.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 9:42pm PST

Andy, while digging through some old Battlecast cards, found this absolute GEM. In what we (everybody except Dan) believe to be THE BEST piece of audio we've ever recorded, Dan defends his position and the honor of what we all know to be the fakest lady in history. Please listen to this. You will not regret it. 
 
Backstory: If you haven't listened to Season 9 Episode CF (between 8 and 9), Dan was tricked into straight up LOVING (not exaggerating) a girl he met online. Turns out this girl was using fake pictures from an actually pretty girl all along and Dan bit down hard on this fake bit of cheese. To add insult to injury, the girl she was using is an absolute dime who flies on private jets, has a super hot boyfriend, and the fact that Dan thought he had a chance was hilarious. What makes it even better, is that the real girl is the one you see in the episode art. A fat, cornfed, buttered 'sgetti eating lard who's married and just dying for the attention of someone not much better than herself, Dan. 
 
Prepare your ear holes because they're about to get the best gift we could give you this holiday season, this track. Enjoy. 
Direct download: Early_XMAS_Bonus.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:30pm PST

Dave Chappelle, oh how we miss you. Your gig as host of SNL recently was not enough, so we brought you back to battle on this week's episode. Everyone's talking about the new Pokemon games too. Dirk's playin' 'em, and today he's gonna rock out with is Pokeball out as Rockruff. Furthermore, Planet Earth II is the best thing ever. Good lord you have so much to watch.

Closing time, one last call for Battlecast...

Warning: One of us used to be HARD. Or real sad.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a majestic baby lizard <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E17_Dave_Chappelle_vs_Rockruff.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:54am PST

 

Westworld is really awesome and we're all super into it. Let's fight there this week why not? Andy saw The Mummy playing at a bar this week so he's gonna be Imhotep. Dirk really digs the Dishonored games so he's gonna be the main character, Corvo Attano. It's a dope battle, but something's missing. Hmmm.

Some call it corn, we call it Battlecast.

Warning: Some Dr. Strange and Westworld spilers. Tasteful ones.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Nebraska Cornhusker <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E16_Corvo_Attano_vs_Imhotep.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:30am PST

A kickass little indie game came out recently. It's called Owlboy. Go check it out. Dirk and Dan have been playing the butt off of it, and Dirk even picked the main character, Otus as his hero this week.

Andy's been playing a lot of pin the tail on the donkey by himself in his underwear at home alone, so he picked George W Bush.

Let's do it in Arlen, TX this week, I'll tell ya hwhat.

When Battlecast shakes your hand, it stays shook.

Warning: Almost a complete absence of ribaldry.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a 325 Dodge hemi <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E15_W_vs_Owlboy.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 3:35am PST

We're sorry. The beginning of this episode assumed that people were better.

We finished up our Extra Life stream with another episode of Battlecast: this one. It's James playing one of the strangest wrestlers (yes, we know that's saying a lot) we've ever heard of, Broken Matt Hardy vs. one of the most vanilla characters in anything ever, the main guy from J.A.G.- LTCR Harm.

Battlecast has the best words.

Warning: WE SWEAR WE DIDN'T MEAN TO PREDICT IT

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for voting or something <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E14_Broken_Matt_Hardy_vs_Lt_Cdr_Harmon_Rabb.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:32am PST

Firstly, thanks to everyone that tuned in and/or donated to us for Extra Life (you still can by the way if you feel like helpin' out a heck of a worth cause). We had an amazing time doing a double header of episodes as well as like 8 hours of DnD

Here's the first ep. we recorded that day- it's Doctor v Disease for this special edition of Battlecast. Rude crude viral dude, Thrax (the bad guy from Osmosis Jones) as played by Dirk goes tendril to tassle with kung-fu magic super-surgeon, Dr. Strange as played by Dan. Oh yeah and it's in some random Ukrainian city called Pripyat.

Battlecast it for the kids, maaaaan.

Warning: Andy's obsession with butt toys continues.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for doing your part against childhood illness <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E13_Thrax_vs_Dr_Strange.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:53am PST

One half of Battlecast takes over at Stan Lee's Los Angeles Comic Con! And by take over, we mean kicked it at a booth and shat the shit for a little. And by one half of Battlecast, we really only mean one third because it's just James and Dan.

They talk about how lame LA is, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared cosplay, various sitcoms from the 1990s, and why the heck we were up there in the first place.

We'll be back with a regular-style Battlecast episode next week. Enjoy some banter in the meantime!

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Red Guy<3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E12_Stan_Lees_LA_Comic_Con_with_James_and_Dan.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:54am PST

You should probably go watch Black Mirror on Netflix. They aren't paying us to say that, it's just really really good. Also it's our battleground this week so you will probably (100% definitely) hear some spoilers about it on this ep. It's ol' Danny Boy vs. ol' Dirkie Poo as the New Ghostbusters and the Sid Meyer's Civilization Narrator respectively.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a Battle! It's a cast! It's Battlecast!

Warning: WATCH BLACK MIRROR FIRST PROBABLY

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a dystopian future where the government is controlled by Orange Julius employees <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E11_Civ_Narrator_vs_New_Ghostbusters.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:28am PST

Have you ever found something on the internet that's so hypnotic and wonderful that you immediately fall in love with it and can't help but digest every single episode of it? No, dummy. We're not talking about Battlecast. We're talking about the Primitive Technology Channel. Go watch it. Also Andy is battling as the guy who runs it. He's frighting... erm, fighting against James as Stephen King's IT aka Pennywise.

These two unlikely enemies discover the whimsical world of The Princess Bride. But mostly just the Fire Swamps.

Never go in against a Battlecast... when DEATH is on the line!

Warning: Dan was not meant for stand-up

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the winner of a Vanilla Ice lookalike contest <3 <3 <3

Direct download: V02E10_The_Primitive_Technology_Channel_Guy_vs_IT.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 3:59am PST