C'mon boys n girls! It's Candyland!! That's where we're dukin' it out today. Dirk's been playing a whole bunch of Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void recently so he picks Artanis (Dirk), and Dan's been smoking a whole bunch of Cigarettes: Legacy of the Lungs recently so he picks Joe Camel (Dan). We do the whole thing in a particularly long board game themed battle in good ol' Candyland. Or as Andy likes to call it... Andyland.

Eat a Battlecast. You're not you when you're hungry.

Warning: Romance and such.


Dan 0-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-1

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We're lovin' it! 29 cent cheeseburger day at McDonalds that is. Does that still exist? No? Well Battlecast does, and this week it's robotic police cop, Robocop (Andy) vs. a big buff bald car guy from The Fast and the Furious, Dominic Toretto. We fight in a McDonalds Play Place. Now does all the cheeseburger talk make sense?

You gotta wrap it before you Battlecast it.

Warning: DAN DOESN'T HAVE STDs HE SWEARS


Dan 0-2, Andy 1-1, James 2-0

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We're back from being total lazy piles and not being good at releasing consistent episodes! Dan's back in town, James quit his meth habit cold turkey, Andy's period finally came (oh god what a nail biter), and Dirk's government tell-all book is finally finished. THIS WEEK: Ren and Stimpy's favorite breakfast cereal and superhero combo, Powdered Toast Man (Dan) vs. Patrick Warburton's greatest role, The Tick (Andy) all fighting at the high school from Grease. Yay!

Don't get mad, get Battlecast.

Warning: Who the F knows the Grase soundtrack I mean come on.


Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0

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This episode was inspired by the Paula Abdul song, Opposites Attract. It's old, white, pony-tail sporting ubernerd, and inventor of Dungeons and Dragons, Gary Gygax (Dirk for Dan) vs not old, not white, gangster rapping, Compton residing badass, Ice Cube (James). We fight in a Tardis because why not.

Never wear black without the Battlecast.

Warning: Andy being Andy.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0

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Season 9 of Battlecast! The 9th of our arbitrary season system! Isn't that exciting? You know what don't answer that. We're joined by guests Ryan Kidd (Jarngis) and Elijah Elliot (makes really bomb cold brew coffee- check out Red Hat Coffee on the web, fb, etc.), and somehow we keep the conversation relatively clean. Hmph. Today's battle is between Hawtpocketz, a Warlock Guardian from Destiny (James) and actor and all-around heart-throb Benecio del Toro (Elijah for Andy). Elijah brough us coffee so the wheel of destiny picked Starbucks as the battleground.

The best part of waking up is Battlecast in your cup.

Warning: Real-life advice that may actually be meaningful or something ew.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-0, James 0-0

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It's after season 8 and not quite season 9 so you know what that means. A SPECIAL EDITION THEMED EPISODE WOOO. We've never done a 2v2 battle before so we give that a shot today. On the heels of the news that Matt Groening just signed a deal to do a new show on Netflix, we go Simpsons vs. Futurama. Friend of the show Ryan Kidd (aka Jarngis and every other NPC from our Side Quest episode) judicates and it's Hank Scorpio (Andy) and Fat Tony (Dirk) vs. Don Bot (Dan) and Bender (James). Bots vs. Boys. Dudes vs. Dudemotrons. Metaloids vs. Skinaloids. Ermm.

You're banned from the Battlecast. You and your children and your children's children... for three months.

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First off, thank you guys infinitely for listening to 100 episodes of Battlecast. We're super grateful for you guys, and we'll keep doing the show as long as we have folks like you tuning in.

So for our 100th episode we're doing something a little different and a little special. We're going on a side quest campaign D&D style with a few characters of our choosing. We seek the Draft of the Eldar, an ancient brew rumored to quench one's thirst for eternity. Will we find this legendary brew? Who knows.

Our cast for this week is the Elite Tauren Chieftan himself, E.T.C. (Dan), eastern european car theif from GTA 4, Nico Bellic (James), and one of Alan Rickman's finest portrayals Severus Snape (Andy).

Don't put Battlecasts on your pizza.

Warning: Boss battles are hard.

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The exciting finale of Season 8 is here! Andy and James go head to head for the championship while Dan sits in the room and pretends he has a chance with his one character. Andy's force-heavy stacked team of four is Ezra, Mulder and Scully, Kylo Ren, and Leonardo di Vinci. James is rocking another kick ass team with Darth Maul, Lara Croft, The Phantom, and Roland Deschain. Dan has Venom. As always, the Battle Royale revisits all the battlegrounds we've used throughout the season in one edge-of-your-skeet spectacular.

Battlecast, the other white podcast.

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Ok, two things. First off... SPOILER ALERT HARRRRRD FOR STAR WARS EP. 7. Second thing. MERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!1

Cool. It's the last regular season Battle of the season (wut) before we get to the Battle Royale so let's make it count. It's the anonymous bad guy from the new Star Wars movie, Kylo Ren (Andy), vs. the supernonymous rapping Shaq genie from one of the worst things of the 90s, Kazaam (Dan). And duh, it's in Santa's Workshop. Dope.

Battlecasts roasting on an open lightsaber.

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