Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics (battlecast)

We're lovin' it! 29 cent cheeseburger day at McDonalds that is. Does that still exist? No? Well Battlecast does, and this week it's robotic police cop, Robocop (Andy) vs. a big buff bald car guy from The Fast and the Furious, Dominic Toretto. We fight in a McDonalds Play Place. Now does all the cheeseburger talk make sense?


You gotta wrap it before you Battlecast it.

Warning: DAN DOESN'T HAVE STDs HE SWEARS


Dan 0-2, Andy 1-1, James 2-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a poopsicle. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E04_Dominic_Toretto_vs_Robocop.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:48pm PDT

We're back from being total lazy piles and not being good at releasing consistent episodes! Dan's back in town, James quit his meth habit cold turkey, Andy's period finally came (oh god what a nail biter), and Dirk's government tell-all book is finally finished. THIS WEEK: Ren and Stimpy's favorite breakfast cereal and superhero combo, Powdered Toast Man (Dan) vs. Patrick Warburton's greatest role, The Tick (Andy) all fighting at the high school from Grease. Yay!


Don't get mad, get Battlecast.

Warning: Who the F knows the Grase soundtrack I mean come on.


Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a federally legal marijuana dispensary. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E03_Powdered_Toast_Man_vs_The_Tick2.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 12:03am PDT

In this best ever episode of Battlecast Dan's not here. He's on some flavor of vacation which means we all get a bit of peace and quiet. Also, we get extra characters to use against him regardless if we win or lose. Florida Man, famous for his hilarious antics and alligator related incidents faces off the fearless Judge, not actual judge, Judy.
 
Rate us on iTunes, follow us on the social medei, listen to Battlecast, James is sorry we didn't put out an episode last week.

 

Direct download: BC_Sans_Dan_Feb.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 8:17pm PDT

This episode was inspired by the Paula Abdul song, Opposites Attract. It's old, white, pony-tail sporting ubernerd, and inventor of Dungeons and Dragons, Gary Gygax (Dirk for Dan) vs not old, not white, gangster rapping, Compton residing badass, Ice Cube (James). We fight in a Tardis because why not.

Never wear black without the Battlecast.

Warning: Andy being Andy.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a punctured cell-phone battery that's moments away from igniting. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E02_Gary_Gygax_vs_Ice_Cube.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 11:40pm PDT

Season 9 of Battlecast! The 9th of our arbitrary season system! Isn't that exciting? You know what don't answer that. We're joined by guests Ryan Kidd (Jarngis) and Elijah Elliot (makes really bomb cold brew coffee- check out Red Hat Coffee on the web, fb, etc.), and somehow we keep the conversation relatively clean. Hmph. Today's battle is between Hawtpocketz, a Warlock Guardian from Destiny (James) and actor and all-around heart-throb Benecio del Toro (Elijah for Andy). Elijah brough us coffee so the wheel of destiny picked Starbucks as the battleground.

The best part of waking up is Battlecast in your cup.

Warning: Real-life advice that may actually be meaningful or something ew.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-0, James 0-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a first-wave organic food movement from the 1970s. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E01_Benecio_del_Toro_vs_Guardian_a_la_Destiny.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:53pm PDT

It's after season 8 and not quite season 9 so you know what that means. A SPECIAL EDITION THEMED EPISODE WOOO. We've never done a 2v2 battle before so we give that a shot today. On the heels of the news that Matt Groening just signed a deal to do a new show on Netflix, we go Simpsons vs. Futurama. Friend of the show Ryan Kidd (aka Jarngis and every other NPC from our Side Quest episode) judicates and it's Hank Scorpio (Andy) and Fat Tony (Dirk) vs. Don Bot (Dan) and Bender (James). Bots vs. Boys. Dudes vs. Dudemotrons. Metaloids vs. Skinaloids. Ermm.

You're banned from the Battlecast. You and your children and your children's children... for three months.

Warning: I'm gonna go catch a bate.
 

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an Australian bounty hunter's trusty bloodhound, Marvin. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S08E2v2_Simpsons_vs_Futurama.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:06pm PDT

First off, thank you guys infinitely for listening to 100 episodes of Battlecast. We're super grateful for you guys, and we'll keep doing the show as long as we have folks like you tuning in.

So for our 100th episode we're doing something a little different and a little special. We're going on a side quest campaign D&D style with a few characters of our choosing. We seek the Draft of the Eldar, an ancient brew rumored to quench one's thirst for eternity. Will we find this legendary brew? Who knows.

Our cast for this week is the Elite Tauren Chieftan himself, E.T.C. (Dan), eastern european car theif from GTA 4, Nico Bellic (James), and one of Alan Rickman's finest portrayals Severus Snape (Andy).

Don't put Battlecasts on your pizza.

Warning: Boss battles are hard.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a lost baby goat that somehow climbed the Statue of Liberty. <3 <3 <3

 

Direct download: Battlecast_SIDE_QUEST_01.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 10:31pm PDT

The exciting finale of Season 8 is here! Andy and James go head to head for the championship while Dan sits in the room and pretends he has a chance with his one character. Andy's force-heavy stacked team of four is Ezra, Mulder and Scully, Kylo Ren, and Leonardo di Vinci. James is rocking another kick ass team with Darth Maul, Lara Croft, The Phantom, and Roland Deschain. Dan has Venom. As always, the Battle Royale revisits all the battlegrounds we've used throughout the season in one edge-of-your-skeet spectacular.

Battlecast, the other white podcast.

Warning: Dan fell in love with a Tijuana stripper.
 
Dan 1-5, Andy 4-2, James 4-2, Dirk 0-8

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a wallet sized school photo. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S08E10_BATTLE_ROYALE.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 3:43am PDT

Ok, two things. First off... SPOILER ALERT HARRRRRD FOR STAR WARS EP. 7. Second thing. MERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!1

Cool. It's the last regular season Battle of the season (wut) before we get to the Battle Royale so let's make it count. It's the anonymous bad guy from the new Star Wars movie, Kylo Ren (Andy), vs. the supernonymous rapping Shaq genie from one of the worst things of the 90s, Kazaam (Dan). And duh, it's in Santa's Workshop. Dope.

Battlecasts roasting on an open lightsaber.

Warning: All the spoilers that exists.
 
Also I realized that I stopped posting the weekly record of wins-losses on accident so here:
 
Dan 1-4, Andy 3-2, James 4-2, Dirk 0-8

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an actual spoiler on a 1999 Mazda Miata. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S08E09_Kylo_Ren_vs_Kazaam.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 8:51am PDT

We noticed we had been way too topical with our character and battleground choices as of late so we decided to do things that are completely irrelevant to anything going on in pop culture right now. It's Hyrule's Female-Identifying Male Link (Dan)... or vice versa...  going head to head with the main dude in Stephen King's Dark Tower series Roland Deschain, The Gunslinger (James). Sudden Valley is the Bluth family development of astoundingly poorly build homes if you didn't follow.

It's raining Battlecasts. Hallelujah.

Warning: Sounds.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a god damn cheap japanese flying machine. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S08E08_Roland_Deschain_vs_Linkle.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:05am PDT