Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics (battlecast)

BOOM SHOW CAMEO! It's Jon Bailey of HONEST TRAILERS. They're trailers, and they're honest. Go watch them.

"Honest Trailers are awesome." -Andy aka a guy who doesn't like 99.9999% of things.

James is absent today, but we somehow manage to seem pathetic anyway. Ahhh just kidding James, you're great. Today its two characters who you've probably never even considered thinking about meeting each other. It's drug kingpin and failed politician Pablo Escobar (Dan) vs. potentially androidical future-cop and main character of Blade Runner and the Philip K. Dick novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep", Rick Deckard (Andy). Dirk judicates and the ol' wheel put us in Big Boss's Mother Base from the new (really solid [get it?]) Metal Gear Solid Game.

In certain cultures it is actually considered a compliment to Battlecast at the dinner table after eating a meal.

Warning: Epic voice by epic guest.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being heavyweight champion of the world from 1972 to 1984. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E09_Pablo_Escobar_vs_Rick_Deckard.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:28am PDT

Today on Battlecast: Andy judicates our battle in a place from a show no one's ever watched. It does actually sound pretty solid though. Twin Peaks. Dan picks one of his most nostalgia-serving characters yet. Master Chief (Dan). You remember Halo parties with your boys, getting into latently homosexual antics around a 27 inch CRT tv. Was that just Dan? Oh well. On to James. He made a very controversial [you'll see why] move in picking Maleficent (James). It's got all the spine-tingling twists and turns of a lazy river!!!

I don't wanna waiiiit. For our Battlecasts to be ovvvver.

Warning: Jamesy want his ba-ba?

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Direct download: S07E08_Master_Chief_vs_Maleficent.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:48pm PDT

Guys I'm really tired and kinda jacked up from the motorcycle accident you'll hear about on this episode so I'm gonna keep this short. Sorry for being a gayby. It's America's national treasure Nick Cage (Andy) vs. stealth alien commando Predator (Dirk for Dan). All goes down on capitol hill 'cause like we keep current with news and stuff.

We motion for a Battlecast. All in favor? The nays have it.

Warning: Wear a helmet.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a conspiracy theorist with a surprisingly nice haircut. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E07_Nicolas_Cage_vs_Predator.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:36am PDT

It's election season! The only season that lasts the duration of like 25 normal seasons! We love it! And to prove how much we love politics and what-not, we're pitting the might Apprenticer himself, Donald Trump (Andy), vs. Hillary "Hill-Dawg" Clinton (James). Today the wheel of destiny lands on a map from Blizzard's newest MOBA [you know, games like League of Legends and DOTA] to hit the streets, Heroes of the Storm.

Houston, we have a Battlecast.

Warning: Try not to smaste anything gross.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a lion tamer from the 1800s. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E06_HILLARY_CLINTON_VS_DONALD_TRUMP.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:18am PDT

"I barely even remember recording that episode."
 
-Andy
 
This week it's the star of Red Dead Redemption, John Marston (Dan) vs. the blonde Cylon from Battlestar Galactica, Caprica 6 (James).
 

It's the ciiiiiiiircle of Battlecast.

Warning: Battlecasters be cheatin'.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Chinese World of Warcraft gold-farmer. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E05_John_Marston_vs_Caprica_6.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:25am PDT

Today on Battlecast we throw James a welcome home party. Well not so much a party as much as we graciously allowed him to still be on the show. We're guest heavy today with an old friend of the show, a new friend of the show, and the spirit of Christmas Future.
 
It's WWE Pretty-boy The Rock (James sort of) vs. the slitheriest shadow-dancer of the X-Men, Nightcrawler (Andy sort of), battling in the weirdest most demented (and not to mention Andy's favorite topic of discussion) place one could ever imagine. Dan's dreams. What a country!

Stop, drop, and listen to Battlecast.

Warning: Record number of Ds dropped.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an edible paint chip. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E04_NIGHTCRAWLER_VS_THE_ROCK.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:15pm PDT

Ant-Man (Dan) was pretty dang good. Go check it out. Also bring this episode of Battlecast in on a boom box and blast it 90s style. Also while listening to Tom Waits (Dirk) on a Walk-Man.

James is still out of town. We actually vaguely miss him. He's in Germany, and that's where our Battleground gon' be this week too.


Fill the reservoir with floating black balls, it's Battlecast season <3

Warning: Hope you like Tom Waits.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Master Chef Junior contestant. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E03_Tom_Waits_vs_Antman.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:08am PDT

WHEN TWO TIME TRAVELING DUOS SPILL BREW, WHO WILL DO TRAVAILING IN TIME TO WIN?!?

It's just the three musketeers today. Not that other guy. Ummmm. James! Yeah James. That guy. Is some'a our faves today. Rick and Morty (Andy) vs Doc and Marty (Dan) battling in a game that Dan and Dirk have been playing wayyyy to much'a. Rocket League. Enjoy.

Awwwwwww, biiiiiiitch, it's Battlecast <3

Warning: This show is icky.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a free layer of factory topcoat. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E02_Rick_and_Morty_vs_Doc_and_Marty.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:35am PDT

It's season 7 yay woo rad awesome. After 6 seasons, you don't have time to caps lock exclamations.

Fraggle Rock is rad. It's the battleground. Roger Rabbit (Andy) is classic and awesome. He's a combatant. Buffy (James) was mildly watchable and inexplicably much beloved. She's fightin' too. Battlecastin' time.

ARE YOU READY TO RAAAAAWK???! Us neither.

Warning: Lotsa TV show talk.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a bomb bursting in air. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S07E01_Buffy_vs_Roger_Rabbit.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:01am PDT

Congratulations to us on our 64th episode! It was like two months ago, but now we're finally celebrating it with one of our vaguely famous 'tween season Specials.

It's 4 all time N64 faves: Turok (Dan) vs. Banjo Kazooie (Dirk) vs. James Bond (Andy) vs. Waluigi (James)

It's guest judicated by fantasy novelist and overall man of mystery, Elnath Trev-dawg Shanks of the CurseBorn Sage. He spun the wheel that landed us on Koopa Troopa Beach from Mario Kart 64.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Battlecast?

Warning: Andy sexualizing video game characters again.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an Absolut Vodka Rep. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S06EN64.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:11pm PDT