Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics (battlecast)

It's a Battlecast milestone this week with the LAST EVER DIRKEO. Yes that's right. The Council of Elders communed and decided Dirk shall be a combatant next season so this is the last opportunity for any of the boys to choose him. Andy does. It's the pathetic and lovable Joe Dirk (Dirt) goin' head to head with the copiously armed furball/nutbolt combo team Ratchet and Clank (James). All o' this happens on Mars.

Amber Alert: Late-twenties, moderately overweight Battlecast in a silver 2010 Prius heading northbound on your ear-holes.

Warning: No one's ever happy with the odds.


Dan 1-3, Andy 3-1, James 2-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a gold plated 5 pin connector. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E07_Joe_Dirt_vs_Ratchet_and_Clank.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 8:44pm PDT

**FIRST OFF DISCLAIMER**

Still working out kinks in the new studio and despite recording on two separate devices, the audio was still all jacked because we're dumb. So the quality of this episode is pretty shoddy. Well all of them are but this one particularly.

Annnnnyway- this week Andy and Dan both wuss out and call in pinch-battlers, but neither of them know who is battling for them until the end in a new-style-no-bias-battle. It's Gumby (Dirk) vs. Lego Batman (Cryin' Bitch aka Ryan Kidd) fighting in the Miiverse.

Fresh and full of Battlecast.

Warning: Foxes and racecars.


Dan 1-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a carbon fiber drink coaster. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E06_Gumby_vs_Lego_Batman.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 11:58pm PDT

C'mon boys n girls! It's Candyland!! That's where we're dukin' it out today. Dirk's been playing a whole bunch of Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void recently so he picks Artanis (Dirk), and Dan's been smoking a whole bunch of Cigarettes: Legacy of the Lungs recently so he picks Joe Camel (Dan). We do the whole thing in a particularly long board game themed battle in good ol' Candyland. Or as Andy likes to call it... Andyland.


Eat a Battlecast. You're not you when you're hungry.

Warning: Romance and such.


Dan 0-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-1

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a very well fed bedbug. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E5_Artanis_vs_Joe_Camel.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 9:19am PDT

We're lovin' it! 29 cent cheeseburger day at McDonalds that is. Does that still exist? No? Well Battlecast does, and this week it's robotic police cop, Robocop (Andy) vs. a big buff bald car guy from The Fast and the Furious, Dominic Toretto. We fight in a McDonalds Play Place. Now does all the cheeseburger talk make sense?


You gotta wrap it before you Battlecast it.

Warning: DAN DOESN'T HAVE STDs HE SWEARS


Dan 0-2, Andy 1-1, James 2-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a poopsicle. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E04_Dominic_Toretto_vs_Robocop.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:48pm PDT

We're back from being total lazy piles and not being good at releasing consistent episodes! Dan's back in town, James quit his meth habit cold turkey, Andy's period finally came (oh god what a nail biter), and Dirk's government tell-all book is finally finished. THIS WEEK: Ren and Stimpy's favorite breakfast cereal and superhero combo, Powdered Toast Man (Dan) vs. Patrick Warburton's greatest role, The Tick (Andy) all fighting at the high school from Grease. Yay!


Don't get mad, get Battlecast.

Warning: Who the F knows the Grase soundtrack I mean come on.


Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a federally legal marijuana dispensary. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E03_Powdered_Toast_Man_vs_The_Tick2.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 12:03am PDT

In this best ever episode of Battlecast Dan's not here. He's on some flavor of vacation which means we all get a bit of peace and quiet. Also, we get extra characters to use against him regardless if we win or lose. Florida Man, famous for his hilarious antics and alligator related incidents faces off the fearless Judge, not actual judge, Judy.
 
Rate us on iTunes, follow us on the social medei, listen to Battlecast, James is sorry we didn't put out an episode last week.

 

Direct download: BC_Sans_Dan_Feb.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 8:17pm PDT

This episode was inspired by the Paula Abdul song, Opposites Attract. It's old, white, pony-tail sporting ubernerd, and inventor of Dungeons and Dragons, Gary Gygax (Dirk for Dan) vs not old, not white, gangster rapping, Compton residing badass, Ice Cube (James). We fight in a Tardis because why not.

Never wear black without the Battlecast.

Warning: Andy being Andy.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a punctured cell-phone battery that's moments away from igniting. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E02_Gary_Gygax_vs_Ice_Cube.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 11:40pm PDT

Season 9 of Battlecast! The 9th of our arbitrary season system! Isn't that exciting? You know what don't answer that. We're joined by guests Ryan Kidd (Jarngis) and Elijah Elliot (makes really bomb cold brew coffee- check out Red Hat Coffee on the web, fb, etc.), and somehow we keep the conversation relatively clean. Hmph. Today's battle is between Hawtpocketz, a Warlock Guardian from Destiny (James) and actor and all-around heart-throb Benecio del Toro (Elijah for Andy). Elijah brough us coffee so the wheel of destiny picked Starbucks as the battleground.

The best part of waking up is Battlecast in your cup.

Warning: Real-life advice that may actually be meaningful or something ew.

Fresh new season with fresh new records!:
 
Dan 0-0, Andy 0-0, James 0-0

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a first-wave organic food movement from the 1970s. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E01_Benecio_del_Toro_vs_Guardian_a_la_Destiny.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:53pm PDT

It's after season 8 and not quite season 9 so you know what that means. A SPECIAL EDITION THEMED EPISODE WOOO. We've never done a 2v2 battle before so we give that a shot today. On the heels of the news that Matt Groening just signed a deal to do a new show on Netflix, we go Simpsons vs. Futurama. Friend of the show Ryan Kidd (aka Jarngis and every other NPC from our Side Quest episode) judicates and it's Hank Scorpio (Andy) and Fat Tony (Dirk) vs. Don Bot (Dan) and Bender (James). Bots vs. Boys. Dudes vs. Dudemotrons. Metaloids vs. Skinaloids. Ermm.

You're banned from the Battlecast. You and your children and your children's children... for three months.

Warning: I'm gonna go catch a bate.
 

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an Australian bounty hunter's trusty bloodhound, Marvin. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S08E2v2_Simpsons_vs_Futurama.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:06pm PDT

First off, thank you guys infinitely for listening to 100 episodes of Battlecast. We're super grateful for you guys, and we'll keep doing the show as long as we have folks like you tuning in.

So for our 100th episode we're doing something a little different and a little special. We're going on a side quest campaign D&D style with a few characters of our choosing. We seek the Draft of the Eldar, an ancient brew rumored to quench one's thirst for eternity. Will we find this legendary brew? Who knows.

Our cast for this week is the Elite Tauren Chieftan himself, E.T.C. (Dan), eastern european car theif from GTA 4, Nico Bellic (James), and one of Alan Rickman's finest portrayals Severus Snape (Andy).

Don't put Battlecasts on your pizza.

Warning: Boss battles are hard.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a lost baby goat that somehow climbed the Statue of Liberty. <3 <3 <3

 

Direct download: Battlecast_SIDE_QUEST_01.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 10:31pm PDT