Ever wondered what it would be like to spend an afternoon in Andy's room in Toy Story? Us neither. Also this episode won't satisfy that craving at all. Frankly, I don't know why I opened this description with that question. I blame the pain killers I'm on. WOOOOOO. It's the dynamic rodent duo Pinky and the Brain (Andy) vs. the enigmatic slave to his all-powerful father's wishes, The Prince (Dan) from the Katamari Damacy series. As previously stated, this thang-a-rang goes down in the Toy Story universe.

Pucker up your buns and pop in some ear-buds, cuz this Battlecast shiz be NSFW as F.

Warning: Heavy debate over the best Toy Story movie.

Yes, we are all tearing through House of Cards right now. But why not take a break and see how ol' Francis Underwood (Andy) would handle duking it out against one of Batman's arch-nemesises, The Scarecrow (James). And heck- why not have the whole thing go down on the set of Saturday Night Live?! Why not indeed...

Tie one on and inject your veins with the warm gooey goodness that is Battlecast.

Warning: Emotions run hot toward the end there.

It's one of the most epic battles in Battlecast history. Two of the ballerest protagonists in all of the late 90s. It's the most dangerous man in the world, with a bounty of 60 billion double dollars on his head, The Humanoid Typhoon, Vash the Stampede (Dan) of the much beloved anime, Trigun. He meets former soldier, wielder of materia, and main character of one of the most acclaimed RPGs of all time, Cloud Strife (James). All this goes down in none other than a map from Team Fortress 2. Perfect right? You'll see.

It's time to strap in and watch the world go KABOOM in this weeks installment of Battlecast.

Warning: Andy is the most confusing judicator ever.

It's a very Valentime's Battlecast episode featuring more girls than have ever been on an episode of the show. What started as Dan vs. Andy then transformed into Dirk vs Andy which then transformed into Dirk's female guest vs. Andy's female guest. The girls choose Disney characters and we pull out our Disney themed wheel which places us in Agrabah. It's Elsa (Ava + Andy) vs. Mulan (Anneke + Dirk).

It's a whole new world of shitty Disney cross-overs. We love you.

Warning: Best. Hashtags. Ever.

Welcome to the Australian Outback! A wonderful place where swarms of koalas and Crocodile Dundees run rampant. Andy has chosen the king of monsters, Godzilla (Andy), and James has picked one of his favorite characters of all time, The Man in Black (James) from everyone's favorite annoyingly question-not-answering ABC show, LOST.

It's Japanese radioactive super-monster vs. a mythical smokey enigma. Woo.

Warning: Be prapared to fear for your genitals.

HAPPY ONE-YEAR BATTLECAST-VERSARY!!!! Yes. We've been doing this for a year now. And what do have to show for it save a lot of stories about handjobs and soiled trousers? A lot of fond memories, that's what!

We kick season 5 off (get it? oh wait I haven't mentioned the battleground yet...) at the big American Football game that decides the winner for that given year. The S***R B**L!!!!! It's Dan as adventure-loving canine, Jake the Dog (Dan) and James as enigmatic justice-killer, Dexter (James)! Who's going to take home the S***R B**L ring? Is T*M BR**Y going to throw for over 200 yards? Is R**SELL WI**ON going to do things too??! Maybe.

Warning: Sorry sports-fans.

Frasier. Seinfeld. Friends. What do they all mean?

Hell if we know- we just make them engage in mortal combat... Andy as Chandler Bing, Dan as George Costanza, and Dirk as Dr. Frasier Crane- it's the Sitcom Showdown to end all Sitcom Showdowns. Also for some reason the fight takes place at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Minneapolis. We'll explain.

Warning: Some of the best stories in Battlecast history.

Enjoy and Tell a Nerdy Friend!

What on earth do you mean, Resurrection Cast?

Isn't it obvious?! We get to pick characters from the past that have died and if we win with them- we get to use them in Season 5! Pretty rad-badical, no? Andy has brought back to life, the trundling flop-master, Dick-Butt. James picks his favorite (and everyone elses least favorite) Lady Gaga. Lastly, Dan chose the first character to ever die on the show- Space Ghost.

Warning: Dan's childhood was sad.

Enjoy and Tell a Nerdy Friend!

4 (Dan) vs. 3.5ish (James) vs. 2 (Andy)
 

You know the rules, people. Each of our winning characters from throughout Season 4 are back as our respective champions. Dan's team of four includes Raphael, Nicola Tesla, Sarah Kerrigan, and Bowser. James's three-and-a-half-man squad is Annie, Deadpool, and the mortally wounded Captain Falcon. Last and most definitely least, Andy's gruesome two-some stands with Deadpool and Agent Coulson. To the winner goes the spoils! Meaning the Katana Trophy and a spoonful of pride.


Warning: WHAT of the month club?


Record after last episode... Andy 2-4, Dan 4-2, James 3.5-3.


Enjoy.

Oops, we did it again. Broke the 4th wall that is. Our fearless leader Dan Brozo (Andy) has fallen through the infamous and much debated "4th wall", landing himself squarely in the center of a battle against THE King Koopa, Bowser (Rob). The wheel put us in Shadow Moses... the setting of Metal Gear Solid for this match against two reptilian ginger tyrants.

The Shyamalanian twist is that Andy is playing as Dan fighting against Rob playing for Dan. What? It's all here in this pamphlet.

Warning: Lotsa porn talk in this one...

Records after last episode: