Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics (battlecast)

There's a glitch in the mainframe of the internet that is allowing us to stay on Meltdown's network and also causes some of the gyms in Pokemon Go to turn yellow. We have our top scientists looking into it.

In the meantime: frazzled Magic School Bus pilot and damn fine lecturer, Ms. Frizzle (Andy) goes head to head against morphine addicted super-hacker, Mr. Robot (James). Hmm if only there was a place that brought nature and technology together in which they could fight... OH YEAH, hardcore survival game and winner of the coveted "This Shit's Been in Alpha for Longer than Computers Existed" award, RUST.

It puts the Battlecast on the skin, or else it gets the hose again.

Warning: Everything you wanted to know about video games but were afraid to ask.

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Direct download: V02E02_Ms_Frizzle_vs_Mr_Robot.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 4:24am PDT

Volume 2 of Battlecast is upon us! Complete with a fancy new presenter, Meltdown Comics and fancy new lead vocals by Jon Bailey! Wooo!

Today's battle takes place in the totally-not-being-judged-by-anyone Rio Olympics between insane lady badass, Harley Quinn (James) and neurotic horsey jackass, Bojack Horseman (Dan).

Things heat up on the track and then cool down in the toxic green swimming pool. We don't recommend listening with headphone as close contact with this content may transmit Zika virus directly into your brain canal. Sorry.

Warning: Immediately gross as always.

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Direct download: S10E01_Harley_Quinn_vs_Bojack_Horsemans.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:49am PDT

It's finally here. Tempers ran hot, arguments were had, and James even broke a beer bottle over Andy's head. This may even be the last time we ever do a Battle Royale based on how much we all wanted to (for reals) kill each other afterward.

Basically what we're trying to say is that we've suffered for our art. In the same way that a 7-year-old suffers for that gold star emblazoned painting of a stick figure parakeet that mom and dad barely allowed on the fridge BUT STILL.

It's Dan vs. Andy vs. James in a tournament style showdown that will answer the two year long question: who got the best dice rolls?

Show me that Battlecast agaiiiin (Ooooooo, show me that Battlecast).

Warning: We'll never make you wait so long for or listen to another almost 3 hour episode again. Promise.


Dan has 4 characters, Andy has 3 characters, and James has 5 characters.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and, seriously, thanks for being a beloved supporter and good homie of the show. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: VOLUME_1_FINALE_-_SUPER_MEGA_ULTRA_BATTLE_ROYALE.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:59pm PDT

One more little baby special episode before we bring you the super sized... no King Sized... no... KING SOOPER SIZED Super Mega Hyper Battle Royale. Here's us fartin' around at SDCC 2016. We talk to people in costume and make them fight other people in costume. It's also on World Star Hip Hop if you want to watch the video.

Battlepix evolves into Ninecast. Duhhhh.

Warning: Some good burns mid episode.


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Direct download: S09ESDCC_Battlecast_at_SD_Comic_Con.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:18am PDT

This is not a normal episode of Battlecast. If you've been listening, then you know that this is us farting around at Dan's Gravyyard show last week. It's extra short, but hopefully it'll hold you over until next week when we have our HYPER SUPER MEGA BATTLE ROYALE followed by two weeks from now when we launch the start of VOLUME 2 of Battlecast. It's gonna be epic. We got some surprises in store for yas.

Gravycast enters the Battleyard.

Warning: You have to hear Dan's band.


<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an out of tune Wazoogle. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09EHH_Gravycast_Happy_Hour.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:39pm PDT

Remember like a million years ago when we did our D&D style co-op campaign version of Battlecast and you guys loooooooved it? Us neither. The love part. SO WE DID IT AGAIN. This time with super overpowered/holy grail characters because it's fun. Straight up Dungeons and Dragons style custom campaign written and performed by Dirk the Magnificent.

Our cast for this week is The Big Blue Dong of Justice AKA Dr. Manhattan (Andy), the bumbling yet lovable Superdoofus, Superman (James), and that dude who spends season of his show stuck on a single syllable, Goku (Dan).

IT'S-A-MEEE- BATTLECASTIO

Warning: Longest. Episode. Ever.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the one person that left the theater after Watchmen not feeling inadequate. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09ESQ2_BATTLECAST_SIDE_QUEST_2.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:19pm PDT

It's the stunning conclusion to Season 9 of Battlecast. Move over, Game of Thrones! Move over, Silicon Valley! Move over, Murder She Wrote! There's a new Sheriff in town!

James and Andy are set up with some pretty OP stacked teams as they go into this one- Andy has Mary Poppins, The Tick, Robocop, Lego Batman. James has Donkey Kong, Ice Cube, A Warlock from Destiny, and Ratchet + Clank. Oh you poor sod, Dan. He only has Joe Camel. Wait didn't this happen last season too? Good lord.

As is customary in the Battle Royale, we revisit a buncha battlegrounds we've seen throughout the season.

Try to Cast your line into the deeper pools- that's where the Battles bite..

Warning: Buckle up.

FINAL RECORD BEFORE THE FINAL
Dan 1-5, Andy 4-2, James 4-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Tier 3 Vehicle Nocturnal Emission Standard. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E10_BATTLE_ROYALE.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 5:42pm PDT

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, THE CAST BATTLES YOU!!! No but really it does so watch out for that if you ever plan on traveling there. It's a battle between East Coast vs West Coast- in a rivalry almost exactly like that of Biggie vs. Tupac, it's Mary Poppins (Andy) vs. Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier (Dan). And if you haven't quite figured this part out yet, it all takes place back in the USSR.

Battlecastliness is next to Godliness.

Warning: Andy sings this episode.


Dan 1-4, Andy 3-2, James 4-2

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being an apprehensive allied power. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09E09_Mary_Poppins_vs_The_Winter_Soldier.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 6:52pm PDT

Welcome to This American Battlecast.

Today we take a break from battling to tell you a tale of heartbreak and hilarity.

In what has been hailed as the greatest episode of Battlecast ever, the boys go through an emotional journey and would like to bring you along for the ride.

Take meee out to the Baaaaattlecast.

Warning: You may cry.

<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being the real deal.. <3 <3 <3

Direct download: S09ECF_This_American_Battlecast1.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 7:58pm PDT

Special guest alert! It's the girl that is apprehensively letting Andy call her girlfriend! She's really sweet and does pretty good Young Frankenstein impressions. Hey! That's where we're battling this week! It's furry and furious donkey named monkey, Donkey Kong (James) vs. the guy that makes being a man in black look good, Agent J (Dan).

Disclaimer: Don't insert the Battlecast too far into your ear canal or you may cause permanent injury.

Warning: The Legend of Cora. The dog.


Dan 1-3, Andy 3-2, James 3-2

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Direct download: S09E08_Donkey_Kong_vs_Agent_J.mp3
Category:Battlecast -- posted at: 2:00am PDT